Of Loss, Grief, and Love

Abstract

My world ended that day. Sorrow, guilt, regret, amplified by blind devotion. Desperation, helplessness. All I see are memories, ghosts of the past. I cannot forget him, no matter how hard I try. I deleted his pictures, only to recover all 800 of them again, and for what? All they give me is pain. I need to write this down, tell him how I feel, like I used to do every day. Maybe it will change his mind. I had lost all self-respect; I did not need any – I needed him. It killed me to think of what could have been. He blocked me, yet I still write to him. I just wish he was there to receive them. I wish I could accept that this is all in vain, that he is not coming back, and I am to blame. But it is hard.